Anxiously Spiraling Out of Control

I’ve been away for an extremely long period. Unfortunately, I ended up treating this beautiful blog like an unwanted stepchild. But I’m back, and I have things to say.

While I’ve been away, the world came to a standstill for everything we knew ceased to exist. COVID-19, more commonly known as the corona virus, is an extremely dangerous virus. Yet somehow, most of the world failed to take it seriously. 

A wise man by the name of Tony Stark once said “I’m sorry, Earth is closed today”, and it has for good measure. While most countries are in complete lockdown, there are a few that have given their citizens a choice of quarantining/self-isolating to help curb this virus. 

And that’s what I’m doing here in India. If I say that I’ve been preparing for this way before the virus hit, that would be an understatement. But this lockdown is much-needed and has been an eye-opener for many people.

How To Spend Your Quarantime?

Many of us led extremely busy lives that only involved waking up, getting dressed, spending 8+ hours at work, coming back exhausted, and going to bed. This often led to us having little to no time to think about or spend some time with our family or even just by ourselves. 

But now that we’ve self-isolated, I’ve come across so many people who have somehow found the time to work from home, learn a new skill, and/or create art all in one single day. And I love that for them. But I’ve also found myself stumbling across posts by influencers, actors, or just people I know showcasing their day to day lives on social media. From cooking to working out, it’s everything I wish I didn’t have to find out. We’re not close like that. 

So why do I sound bitter about it?

Even though I sound bitter, I don’t want to see what everyone else is doing during this period. Not because I’m offended or think it’s stupid. While I would love to partake and enjoy the little joys of doing what everyone is doing, my anxiety wouldn’t let. Because all I have done during these past few weeks is stay in bed, unable to find the will and energy to learn a new skill, workout, or just do more than I already am. 

The only reason I’m pointing this out now is that due to me being in lockdown, most of my days are spent wallowing in self-pity while I occasionally scroll through Instagram (probably a bad idea). On more occasions than one, I happened to come across a post that talked about how if we don’t happen to learn a new skill we don’t lack time but the discipline. (It was definitely worded differently)

But that alone didn’t affect me, what hit me was that many acquaintances I followed were sharing it on their stories. Why does that affect me? Because crippling anxiety during a situation like such has me spending most days in bed. Only occasionally would I get out of bed to do something I enjoy. 

So do I or others who are going through something similar lack discipline? No. It is all right to just stay in bed for some days and not feel up to anything. It isn’t wrong if all you’re doing is scrolling through Instagram, or binge-watching your favourite show on Netflix. 

It is also fine if your friends or strangers you come across are thriving during this period. And most of all, it is okay to take things one step at a time. 

No doubt, this quarantine is a great time to sit back, relax and detox yourself of every bit of stress, anxiety, and more. But if you aren’t able to enjoy this time, it’s all right. You’re not alone.

Go Anxiety, Anxiety Go

It’s easier said than done, but everyone handles feeling anxious differently. 

I, for instance, like to isolate myself completely. And if people fail to give me my space I, unfortunately, lash out. 

Similarly, so many others try talking about it or try to distract themselves just so they can considerably calm down. But if any of you is feeling distressed during this time, feel free to reach out to the numbers mentioned here.

I know this isn’t so helpful, but today was the kind of a day where I could get out of bed and do what I loved best; Write. And while I hope you have been taking the precautions needed against COVID-19, how have you been spending your quarantine?

7 thoughts on “Anxiously Spiraling Out of Control

  1. Well, I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who’s feeling anxious about all of the social media posts.
    One can cope up and one can feel the way they want to. There’s no one way of doing it. Great post. 😁


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