The definition of a relationship varies from person to person, but according to the Oxford dictionary, a relationship is the way in which two or more people or things are connected, or the state of being connected. But relationships can either mean your family, friends, or even a lover.
You should take whatever I say with a pinch of salt. But the two things that define any relationship for me are trust and communication.
Without either of these, a relationship in my eyes is just weak or futile. Now I am no expert in this field, so why is it important for me to talk about this topic?
It’s normal for South Asians or more specifically Indians to be extremely nosy. We love discussing other people’s lives. The younger generation can vouch for that. But due to the lockdown, many of us have been forced to maintain our distance. It is forcing some of us to watch the transformation of our relationships.
But let’s rewind a little, shall we?
Can’t Help Falling in Love With You
Love, relationships, togetherness and more have been around for a while now. Regardless of what your relationship is, you’re not always around the person as much. I’ve always considered every relationship a long-distance relationship, but according to most, a relationship that’s a thousand miles apart would truly be long distance. And as everything else has, long-distance relationships have received a fair amount of backlash.
But are long-distance relationships that bad? Let’s take a look at some of the pros and cons.
Except for a minor inconvenience of a couple of thousand miles between two people, there’s so much distance can contribute to a relationship.
- It puts things into perspective.
A relationship usually lasts for 3 months, after which it gets difficult to keep up the facade. But when you add distance into the mix, it will help determine if you want to be with your partner.
- You learn to prioritize.
Prioritizing certain things in a relationship is very common. But with distance and time zones, you have to determine what’s healthy for you as an individual as well as to your relationship.
- Clear communication comes naturally to you.
Every relationship requires proper communication. But things get twice as hard when your partner isn’t in the same city, or worse, country.
It’s a lot harder to mend things if they won’t pick up your calls, or check your messages.
While there is so much more, let us look at some of the negatives too?
- Time zones always have an upper hand.
It’s always difficult to manage your time, even if your partner is in the same time zone. Even if you don’t speak every day. It might not affect your relationship initially, but it eventually does put a dent in it.
- The trust issues
“If you don’t completely trust your partner, your relationship won’t last too long.” Trust is an essential part of every relationship, but it takes a while to completely trust any person. It is easy for most of us to forget that.
And in this uncertain phase, you are bound to have issues that could manifest into a lot more if you don’t talk about it.
- You Get Lonely
I cannot stress this enough, but it does get lonely. And there’s nothing wrong with that. It affects each person differently, some more than the others. It can also lead to many feeling abandoned and anxious, even if their partner is trying to communicate and help.
I may be slightly biased to long-distance relationships because I love ‘love’. So I feel like distance may make it difficult, but they aren’t all that bad!
The Four Horsemen of a Relationship
Criticism can often be confused with complaining. But the difference is that criticism can either be constructive or destructive. It might be healthy to criticize in a relationship, but it needs to be constructive.
You can, for example, tell your partner “I don’t appreciate you pushing me away. I know you need space, but I’m only here to help.” instead of “You are selfish for not letting me help you.”
It is natural to disagree on a lot of things with your partner. They are a person with their thoughts and views. But if you let it get the best of you and try insulting or mocking your partner? That’s contempt.
Contempt can be ugly, but it is also unnecessary. Not only does it make your partner feel unwanted, but it also is a sign of cracks emerging in your relationship.
A person only becomes defensive if they’re met with a lot of contempt. It usually is a way of one partner trying to avoid the responsibility of their actions by blaming it on their partner, or circumstances around them. The phrase “It’s not me, it’s you.” is very popular in their circles.
Stonewalling is when a person builds a wall around them. They cease to respond to their partner in any emotional situation. And while there are many reasons for people to put up barriers, if it’s indestructive there is nothing you can do to get through to them.
These four horsemen are usually telling signs of relationships that are close to caving in. If your relationship has all of these signs, then the chances of it recovering are slim to none.
But enough about this, let’s talk about how you can help ease the distance.
What a Wonderful World
Most of us are in inescapable long-distance relationships due to self-isolation, quarantine, or a lockdown. But technology can help bridge some of that distance.
With multiple apps easily available to us, we’re able to keep in touch with our respective lovers, or families. We might, however, find ourselves on a schedule. From timing the Zoom, Skype, or even Messenger calls to texting and finding other ways of spending more time with our spouses.
Regardless of our situation, distance can affect a relationship. But it doesn’t necessarily have to be negative. The distance can possibly push you further apart, but it can also bring you closer.
I hope everyone is keeping their distance and following the correct protocol to protect yourselves from the pandemic. If you want to find more things to do during your quarantine, you can check out some more of my content right here.