How I’m Surviving this Lockdown

This pandemic has been a complete rollercoaster for almost every single one of us. My friends have been telling me how the lockdown has screwed their schedules. From lack of sleep to zero knowledge of time, they are struggling to exist. 

Each of these things is something most of us have dealt with at some point during this lockdown. And because of this, I’ve come across so many posts by influencers I follow or even friends where they’re encouraging everyone to just take it one step at a time. But at the same time, I’ve also read so many posts about how someone spends their quarantine. So here I am, doing the exact thing because I couldn’t think of anything else.

Start Again

I don’t want to come across as too dramatic, but being quarantined in the comfort of our homes can still do a number on you. Privileged? Yes. Does that mean you’re not allowed to feel anxious, displaced, or even just low? No. I had previously discussed something similar in ‘Anxiously Spiraling Out of Control’, where being anxious and not feeling like doing anything during this quarantine is perfectly fine. But my anxiety hit rock bottom when I saw other people thriving and memes calling out anyone who didn’t accomplish anything during this period.

It almost made me hate myself more because I wasn’t baking banana bread, making dolgona coffee, or learning a completely new skill. I know none of that was to call me out, but I did feel personally attacked. And oddly enough that is what pushed me to write again. 

I’ve always loved being a homebody. I enjoyed it even before the quarantine. But, that was always because I could choose when I left the house and when I got to stay. We went from making choices to having no choice, and boy did that do a number on me. But how did I decide to utilize all those pent up thoughts and emotions? By constantly scrolling through Instagram, or watching any show on Netflix and Amazon Prime. 

And while everyone else decided to push their limits, I decided to wallow in self-pity only because Instagram made me feel like I was letting myself down. Sounds really dramatic, doesn’t it? I mean I’ve always been extra, but this lockdown really pushed me to my lowest.

Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin

While to most this probably would have looked like an excuse to being lazy and taking a break, for me, it was more of what’s the point of trying? It sounds so depressing now that I’ve said it out loud, but it really felt like it. I’d mentioned how I started writing in ‘How My Bottled Up Emotions Sculpted Me’, I didn’t know how to put my emotions out there or talk about it, so I wrote them down. But lately, I’d forgotten how much I loved writing and bottled up my emotions for as long as I could. 

Unfortunately for me, not only did that make me feel worse, but it also crippled any creativity I had left in my head. The inside of my head had a storm brewing, and I knew I’d have to do something about it. That was why I started posting on the blog again, but I also seemed to miss how happy writing made me.

I still remember how excited, nervous, and just nauseous I was after writing my first lockdown induced post. Not only did it make me feel a lot better, but I also wasn’t as triggered by any minor inconveniences, for now. Apart from writing about my emotions and insecurities, I also realised I had a safe place to talk about things I liked. 

I’m fully aware of the fact that if you scroll through my blog, it will look like a complete mess. But that’s exactly what my mind is like all the time. You go from one topic to another so fast that you can barely keep up. However, I would like for you to try!

Brand New Day

Let’s go back to Instagram for a bit. With such vast “How To Survive Quarantine” posts, I couldn’t decide on the one I wanted to read. Luckily for me, most of these talk about how they spend their quarantime. And I love that because this is how I have been spending mine. 

  1. Eat
  2. Netflix
  3. Write
  4. Instagram
  5. Sleep
  6. Repeat

And while that doesn’t sound like much, it truly has helped me survive this lockdown. 

Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying that it has been perfect. It has been the exact opposite. Some days I wake up happier than ever, and then there are others where I struggle to drag myself out. And this isn’t the best way to spend my quarantime, but I wouldn’t change a thing.

Now obviously you’re wondering what’s the point of this if I have nothing to share about the activities. Well, here’s what I have to say.  

As cliche as this is, if all this free time has taught me anything then that would be to do what I love. Writing has always been an integral part of my life. From making silly greeting cards as a kid to writing really dark poems and posts. Believe it or not, I’ve always been happiest writing. And even though I’ve been told I should cover lighter topics, I enjoy all that dark matter. 

I still see multiple posts about how you’re not spending this time the right way, but I’ll let you in on a little secret. There is no right or wrong way. We’re all doing our best to survive, literally and figuratively. However, if you keep putting yourself down because you didn’t spend it right, then you’re wrong.

So what do we conclude from this? 

You can spend your quarantime however you want. It doesn’t matter if you’re doing anything Instagram worthy, or you’re just taking it easy. All you have to keep in mind is that whatever you’re doing is something you enjoy. It can be anything, a new skill, an old habit, or even a Netflix show. This quarantime may be excruciatingly long, but that doesn’t mean you should be miserable in it! 
If you want to spend your quarantime reading, then check out more of my work here!

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